The Summer that Was and Wasn't

Kids are back in school, Labor Day is behind us, and leaves are starting to fall.  I am simultaneously feeling:
1) wistful that we did not have a "real" summer vacation,
2) guilty that we never got into a good routine for our summer days together, and
3) relieved that the burden of structuring my time and that of my children is no longer mine alone to bear.

Rather that obsessing over what I did not accomplish or what was not feasible, I want to cultivate a spirit of gratitude.  There were a lot of very good things that happened this summer, and some of them were even on my summer "bucket list."  Here are the things that come to mind.

In July:

• My husband's parent's came for a visit.
• We explored the Saskatchewan Science Centre for the first time.
• Grandparents babysat while we went out for a dinner date in the big city.
• I got my official Canadian passport!
• I was able to switch my part-time work schedule and get to know some fascinating co-workers.
• We found and picked a pitcher-full of local Saskatoon berries!  I've been itching to do this since our arrival in Saskatchewan last summer.  With the fresh berries we picked we enjoyed Saskatoon berry applesauce bars and berry topped pancakes.

In August:

• My parents came for an extended visit.
• We went out to celebrate our 13th anniversary while my parents babysat. 
• We went on a family history tour to see the area where my mom and grandparents were from.
• My husband got to teach new EFL teachers in Cambodia.
• The kids and I went strawberry picking.
• Friends let us tend and harvest the produce in their garden while they were away.  I've missed having a garden of my own. 

• We made lots of yummy jam.  My mom brought us more delicious jam from her kitchen.
• My mom also helped us catch up on laundry.  Yes, we can actually see (part of) the laundry room floor now!
• My husband finished the first draft of his Ph.D. dissertation!  We started this grad school journey six years ago, and now the end is in sight.
• I got a second-hand (or third or fourth-hand, more likely) bike that works--and it was free!
• We finally got an offer on our house in Nebraska!  It's been 12 months since we packed up and headed north.

There are still a few question marks in our lives right now.  When will our house deal finally close?  Will we continue to rent here or will we dive into the local, more expensive real estate market here in Saskatchewan?  Will my husband graduate in December?  If so, will we risk traveling in December to attend the ceremony?  Should I keep working part-time after the house closes?  We need wisdom and patience from above.   Seasons of waiting and uncertainty are hard.  I am ready for closure.  Nevertheless, God is good, all the time.

10 Honest Critiques to Consider

 

 

1.  "Mom, can I sit in your big fat lap?"  

                --asked by my son this morning

2.  "You always make such delicate sculptures in the fridge." 

                --daughter #1

3.  "Why do you like to sit at your computer 
       so much?" 

                --daughter #1

4. "Can I snuggle with you?" 

                --both daughters


5. "I couldn't find any socks." 

                --both daughters and husband


6.   "What are you doing?"

       me: "I'm fixing my hair." daughter #2: "Is it broken?"


7.  "Let's make our house as clean as Mrs.  

       ____well's today!" 

                --daughter #2


8.  "I hate riding in the car!  Why can't we walk home 
         every day?" 

                --daughter #1


9. "Can you erase the chore chart so I can check off 
     my chores?  

                --daughter #1


10. "Can I take a bath tonight?" 

                --daughter #1

Do you have any quotes from children

that have prompted laughter and/or dismay?

 

Attempted in April: 4 Challenges

Warmer weather and sunshine have invigorated me this month and helped me have more of a "can do" attitude.  So I decided to dive in to several online challenges.  While I was at it, I connected with a friend on Facebook and we decided to add one more.  Here's the rundown of endeavors:

1. The Great Outdoor Challenge

For this challenge, my kids and I were supposed to spend time outdoors every day and take photos.  I decided to post most of the pictures on my Facebook page, but here is one shot from last week:

This week we've been outdoors most days but have not snapped any photos.

2. Make Week

Trying turn off the T.V. last week was a helpful experiment. I don't watch any T.V. on a regular basis myself, so this was more of a parenting challenge.  Megan at SortaCrunchy shared very similar conclusions about how dependent we have become on an electronic device for dealing with children.

Our family made it for two and a half days without T.V. until I relented.  My daughters were not feeling well and could not play outside, so we let them watch some videos while they rested.  And then it was back to our old habits of letting kids watch videos while I make dinner, shower, etc. 

3. Project: Spring Green

My goal was to get my garden started.  Well, it's about halfway ready and no seeds have been planted yet. But we will finish planting soon.  Yes, we will!

4.  Early Dinner Prep

My friend and I were lamenting how wretched it is to start preparing dinner at 5 p.m. with cranky kids (and Mama).  So I asked her if she wanted to check in later in the week.  Our goal: to see if we could both make and eat dinner earlier.

On my third night of trying, we finally succeeded in sitting down to eat before 6:00 p.m.  It was wonderful!  There was also the sweetness of knowing that a friend of mine who has similar struggles to my own was tackling this issue with me.

An even bigger challenge for me is to turn a singular triumph into a habit. I'm not seeking to become a supermama.  But by God's grace, I believe long-term change is possible.  And on the way greater fruitfulness, I have found it sure is nice to get a little encouragement from my friends.

An anxious heart weighs a man down,

but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 12:25 

 

Can Failure Lead to Happiness?

I was struck by the words of Ephesians 2:10 last weekend. It was the featured verse at a weekend retreat for women from our church. The same passage is what I had chosen on New Year's Eve as my prayer for 2010:

Image Source: R. Bowman

I am still in the process of absorbing the truths in that verse. For most of my life it has been success that motivates me. When I succeed, I feel good about life. My faulty way of thinking goes something like this:

"If I could just _______, then I'd be happy."

• be on time
• get the house clean
• enjoy more time outside
• see that person I've been meaning to call
• etc., etc...

The last few weeks in particular I have been failing spectacularly--and often. Doing things my way and striving to succeed isn't working. Yet when I look back into the past, I see many points at which God used failure to redirect me to something better and more fulfilling.

After a failed college choir audition, I wound up joining another group, where I learned the gospel song "Through God's Eyes". Some of the words I remember are:

If I looked at myself through God's eyes,
would the reflection I see be like Christ?
If I looked into God's eyes to see myself,
would his love and joy be flowing through my life?

...I want to walk hand in hand with You,
so that you can show me what I must do.
If I looked through God's eyes,
what would I see?

The undeserved blessings of my husband and children, my years learning about authentic worship--these I would not trade for any of my former ambitions. Nevertheless, I still get caught up in the quest for success. I pin my hopes on what I want to accomplish in a day, rather than asking God to "show me what I must do." How silly. He's already prepared the good works for me.

Instead of just trying to cross things off my to-do list, I need to inquire of God what he has prepared for me each day. Our agendas might might differ sharply or have much in common. But I'll never know (and have peace about my choices) if I don't ask.

Christmastime 2009 Recap

Now that the new year has begun, you won't hear much from me on resolutions. My thoughts on the matter are captured well here by Jamie at Steady Mom. I've shared other random ideas on self improvement and attainability in this article.

Meanwhile, I am still reflecting on the time we spent together as a family between Christmas and New Year's Day. It was a rare opportunity to slow down and enjoy having my husband at home with us.

We did:

• re-enact the biblical Christmas story as a family (minus a sleeping boy).

• enjoy homemade cinnamon rolls from the frozen dough that my sister-in-law made for us at Thanksgiving.

• decorate gingerbread houses at the home of some friends of ours.

• make microwavable salt dough ornaments.

• purge the house of excess junk and miscellany when my husband organized all the toys.

• take a sudden two-day excursion to Kansas City, where my parents-in-law live. My kids also got to play with two of their cousins from Chicago who were visiting with their parents (my SIL and her husband).

• shovel hundreds of pounds of snow from our l-o-n-g driveway.

• remain safely ensconced inside our cozy brick house from the evening of December 23 to December 27.

• watch several movies at home as a couple. I'm still pondering the documentary we watched, Let the Church Say Amen. It has great potential for fostering a group discussion on the role of the church in society.
  

We didn't:

• remember to hang and fill Christmas stockings until December 26th.

• travel to Ohio to celebrate with my grandfather. I felt heartsick about not going.

• bake Swedish tea ring, Christmas cookies, or other traditional holiday edibles.

• feast on my husband’s holiday specialty—Garlic Spaghetti. The reason: I forgot to buy ground beef.

• attend a Christmas Eve service at a church.

• stay on schedule for our Advent readings from Preparing for Jesus, by Walter Wangerin, Jr. We should finish mid-January. It has been wonderfully vivid so far!

• send Christmas cards by post. A belated e-mail newsletter had to suffice—again.

• watch A Wonderful Life...yet. It’s been a yearly tradition for my husband since he was a child.

• enjoy even one bite of my family’s traditional fruitcake. I missed it.
  

I hope you were able to savor some meaningful moments and traditions with your family in the last few weeks as well. Feel free to comment and share some of what you did or didn't do as you wrapped up 2009. I'm glad to be back with the Company Girls this week!

The Winter Road Trip that Wasn't

We knew we might have to nix our plan if the weather didn't cooperate. But the reality of canceling our trip was more painful than we imagined. I was incredibly disappointed, and so were my grandparents. I found out they were even planning to wait to open Christmas gifts until after we arrived. Instead, the unopened gifts for our children would have to be mailed. The delight of celebrating the holidays and his 90th birthday with exuberant little voices became a dream unfulfilled.

In hindsight, we should have been ready to go whenever the road conditions were favorable. In this case, that would have meant leaving two or three days earlier, and we weren't prepared enough to do that. Winter travel is not something with which we have much experience; we prefer to avoid it altogether. But we'd rather not avoid it the way we had to this time.

I have enough confidence in my grandparents' love to trust that our relationship is not irreparably damaged by this great disappointment. Still, it is hard to talk with them on the phone, not knowing when we can manage to arrange another trip. And we also don't know how many days they have left on this earth. Still, I remain thankful for the many wonderful times I've shared with both sets of grandparents in the past. My husband had far fewer happy moments with his grandparents before they were gone.

So in this new year, I resolve to be thankful for God's abundant gifts to me, past and present. Remembering His past faithfulness helps me believe that His goodness will continue, even when events do not unfold in the ways that I might hope or expect.