Friday, September 25, 2009

Past Connections, Present Roles

Walking out under a starlit sky to sip a late night cup of tea is something I haven't done in a long time. But my friend of over 15 years came to town, and we hearkened back to our college days together and caught up on each others' lives during the 68 precious hours she was with us. She also managed to wash almost every dish that lurked in my kitchen, in addition to coming so far to see me. I tried not to feel too guilty. And during daylight hours, even without dishes to do, I still found ways to occupy my time, like cooking, and disciplining my three darling children.

Another experience we have in common is living overseas; soon she plans to return to a more rugged way of life abroad. So our days together were an unexpected bright spot of encouragement and hope (for me anyway). I was reminded to be thankful for the friends I have been given, wherever they may be. And I know I must be more faithful to pray for them and let them know I appreciate their part in my life. Even if we are not as close in proximity or when other duties don't allow frequent face to face interactions, I can be a faithful friend.

Or can I? I sometimes wonder if there are any women with young children who manage a satisfying balance of their roles as wives, mothers, home keepers, and friends. Most women I have met have at least one of these areas that tends to get neglected. Lately I have been disappointed by how poorly I am doing in all of these roles. I have a good idea as to why, since Jesus said, "apart from me you can do nothing."

So, Company Girls, if you have a real life example of a woman who attains a godly balance, whether it's you or someone who know and respect, I'd love to know!


Anonymous said...

It's also good to get together with friends, and what a great one you have.

Shawna R. B. Atteberry said...

I think not keeping up with everything is just a part a life. I'm married, but we don't have children and I have trouble keeping up with all of my roles. I'm learning it's a matter of juggling. Letting something go for a little while to do something else.

Kim said...

That would be my number one struggle. How to balance everything.... I have a teenage boy and a 10 year old girl and unfortunately think it gets worse (busier) as they get older.

Thanks for your comment.
btw, this is coming from my daughter who is only 10 and yes, there is definitely a time to confront. Especially if the person is calling themselves a Christian.


Jhona O. said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging comment! I am just learning this balance myself.

I am so grateful for my friendships. Most of my dearest friends are far away. Thank goodness for unlimited long distance. I love snail mail too. It warms my heart to see a note from a friend and I try to send them often too. I am very glad that you got to spend time with your friend. What a gift!

One More Equals Four said...

If you find someone who is able to balance it all, PLEASE send her my way!

My weakest area is in friendship. I long so much for a deep, close friend, but I guess I just don't put enough time into cultivating one! For now, I must be satisfied with a deep friendship with my Heavenly Father.

mholgate said...

Other than really admiring Rachel Anne because she helps me strive to build sanctuary in my own home, I admire her sister, Katherine. Katherine has 5 children (like me.) She has been through the babies, the toddlers, the preschoolers, the tweens, and now the teens! She is full of wisdom. A while back there was a discussion on her blog about the balancing act. (In response to a desparate e-mail question from me.) Check out her blog if you want at

The way I look at it, if I'm going to continue this balancing act, it's a good thing I have Jesus as my safety net to catch me when I fall!

Have a good weekend!

Rachel Anne said...

Well, Melissa paid my sister and I a nice compliment, but if you only knew how many of our phone conversations are about this very struggle...being worn thin trying to manage everything and STILL not doing things well. Sigh. I have met some people who seem to do everything well, but they are few and far between. Many of them have help (cleaning/lawn care/child care etc) but not all.

I think everyone feels inadequate in some way. When children are small, there is so much physical work to be done along with the nurturing that it is difficult to see the progress you ARE making. But I think that much of "success" in life is in just showing after day...doing what you can and reminding yourself that tomorrow is another day to tackle what you didn't get done today.

Aiming4Simple said...

Thanks for all the quality input, everyone! I admit that I really miss having house help! We simply can't afford it with my husband in grad school. However, I'm encouraged by your words to press on, not for perfection, but toward greater joy in each hat I wear.